plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He passed out mid-signature
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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