Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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