Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
