I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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