it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
