Pappa wants mamma naked
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
