Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
