i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
