Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
