I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
