their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
