im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
