I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Nicole vs. Life
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
