I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm just crazy horny about you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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