just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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