So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
