And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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