i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
