I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
