dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
