ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
