shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is it because I queefed?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
