my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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