im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
