You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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