Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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