Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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