new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
