my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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