I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
