he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
