I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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