Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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