You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
