My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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