Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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