i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
