Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
