Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
