I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
