I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
