You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
