i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
