It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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