At least make sure they are 18
Why
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
