no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
