Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
