grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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