I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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