Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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