Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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