Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
