i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
