My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
